idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
