how do flat chested girls get laid?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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