does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
