If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
