I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
