loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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