wake up i wanna do it froggy style
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
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