wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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