the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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