I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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