Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
