Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize