You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I enjoy the company of your penis
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
