And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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