Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
