How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
