Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
