i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
