..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
