I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
