I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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