Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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