Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
