Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
