Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
