I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
