Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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