So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
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