I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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