No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
