My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
