I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
