I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
This is the high leading the old right now
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
