just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
