yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
