Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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