wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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