Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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