Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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