I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game