toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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