"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
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I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
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Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.