Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize