never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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