so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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