are you still at the devil's house?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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