i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
