last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
