woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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