I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
