This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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