Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Randomize
