Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
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