i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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