Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize