hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
