dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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