just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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