thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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