Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
