am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You left your underwear on the fireplace
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
