Little spoons don't ask big questions
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
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