I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
