alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
